LAST DAY

It's crazy what you don't take for granted suddenly when you know you won't have it anymore.

Yesterday I did just that. With the unexpected new job starting on Monday, my daily, stay-at-home mom activities instantly became more valued and cherished like nobody's business.

Simple things that I won't be able to do because I will be at work took on a whole new worth to me yesterday.

When I picked the kids up from school, their expressions when I walked into their classrooms caused me to stop for a moment and take a mental snapshot of those precious looks of surprised, grinning delight. Then on our drive home, I absorbed every last detail and every last story that filled their little mouths of all the happenings of their day. These details seem to only spill out to that degree right after school. I will miss being there for that.

Then later, I enjoyed the afternoon with my sister while we took our kids to the zoo after school. I LOVED holding hands with my kids as we walked from animal to animal. At one point Zane grabbed my hand and started singing me his best Beatles rendition of "Hold my hand and I'll kiss you, on Monday I'll miss you..." then flashed his big six year old toothless grin and completely melted my heart. I even took pleasure in the normally frustrating corralling process of keeping everyone together so no one gets lost. My speedy Zane usually takes off running, full of excitement and then my lingering Audrey lags way behind singing songs and looking around at all of life's details. Then there was me... smack dab in the middle, spitting out "hold ons" and "hurry ups" between them, trying to stay within proximity of both. That... even THAT, I soaked up.

I also took in a new sense of thankfulness for my beautiful girlfriends who also stay home with their kids. I will miss days in the park where our children play which allows us girls to hang and talk. I will miss conversations of life, parenting and spirituality on Friday mornings over coffee. I will miss going to the gym with my friend Christen. All those days of saying, "hey we should hang out after the kids get out of school" came crashing into my brain, because... well... now we can't.

I know, I know it is hardly the end of the world. I will still have time with my kids and friends, but things will just be different and yesterday that sunk in. I am filled with mixed emotions as I transition to this new part of life. I am nervous, sad, a little weepy, reflective, grateful, excited, alive, inspired and full of joy. How can all those coexist in me at once... I don't know....

but they do.

Ahhhh... emotions gotta love em.
Well, here's to my last school day as a stay- at- home mom!
and here's to my new adventure.