Malled

Scott here, reporting from the frontlines of being a 'Kept Man.'

There's something wrong with a world where the Mom gets to take the son to play video games while the Dad goes window shopping at the Mall with his 3-year-old daughter.

So while Amy and Z played games at Dave & Buster's, Audrey and I walked around the mall taking in the sights, such as the mannequin in the front window of 'Fredrick's of Hollywood' wearing a turgid little 'outfit', where I had to explain to an adoring Audrey that I can't go in there and buy the little red see-through nightie and thong set for Mommy. She said, 'But it's beeeuutiful. Mommy would luuurv it! She could wear it to work!' I agreed and bought it. I can't wait for Amy to show up to work in that sucker. (Joke. Didn't buy it. I was successful in explaining to Audrey that it was for bedtime. "Like Pajamas?" Exactly.)

Then she saw the shoe store and made a beeline to it. (for those of you with no sense of history, Audrey's first word was, in fact, SHOES.) Once inside the children's shoe store, Audrey walked up to each and every girlie shoe, picked it up and said, "Hello!" Then told me if it was something she wanted or not. And if it was for a baby, she would hold it to her chest and proclaim - 'it's so cute!! Look, Daddy! It's for a baby! A baby's shoe!!' Everytime, she was right. It was uncanny. All 159 pairs of shoes, she nailed it.

I've never spent so much time in a shoe store in my life. And she's only THREE!!!

And I still've got Prom for her to look forward to.




ps.
Did I mention, that this was the second time this week that I went to the mall with her? I've been malled.